


Her Dumb, Romantic Dork

by rainforestgeek



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Awkward Nino Lahiffe, F/M, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Identity Reveal, Misunderstandings, No actual sex, Romantic Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Suggestive Themes, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:01:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainforestgeek/pseuds/rainforestgeek
Summary: Marinette couldn't wait for her one-year anniversary with Adrien. They've been blissfully happy. And she was ready to entrust her most guarded secret with the man she loved. However, when she dropped a couple hints that something big was going to happen on their special day, Adrien got the wrong idea.In which we get a sneak peek into Adrien's google search history.Formerly "Deeply Personal"
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 27
Kudos: 228





	Her Dumb, Romantic Dork

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostlyhamburger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlyhamburger/gifts), [norakwami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/norakwami/gifts), [GalahadWilder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalahadWilder/gifts).



> ghostlyhamburger pitched this idea and she gave me the go-ahead to write it, so enjoy guys!

Marinette felt like the human embodiment of champagne on Monday. Less than a week left until her _one year anniversary with Adrien!_ She couldn’t wait! Her boyfriend turned out to be the cheesiest romantic in the world, so she was sure he’d go all out for a special occasion like this.

Tragically, they had no classes together this year. But at the end of fencing practice she met Adrien outside the gymnasium, packing up her sketchbook and running into his arms. He laughed in her ear.

“Hey, I’m all sweaty and gross.”

“I don’t care.”

“Lies.”

“Okay, I care _more_ than I haven’t seen you all day.” She twined her arms around his neck. Her index finger ran along the blue scarf that’d been the first present she ever gave him. “What do you want to do for our anniversary?”

“Nuh-uh.” He pecked her cheek. “I’m surprising you. I think it’s only fair since you planned our first date. Wear whatever you want but I’ll be going semi-formal.”

Marinette bopped him gently on the nose. “I have just the dress for the occasion. I can’t believe it’s been a whole year.”

“A whole year with the girl I love. It’s cause for celebration.”

“Just you and me on our special night.” Marinette swallowed. Tikki wasn’t totally on board with this, but…she trusted Adrien more than anyone in the world. She’d given it a lot of thought, and she wanted there to be no secrets between them. “Adrien, I…want to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“I love you so much. I don’t want anything to separate us anymore, so, on our anniversary…I want to share something with you for the first time. To bring us closer.”

Adrien’s breath hitched. “Marinette, there’s no pressure rush our relationship.”

“No, I’ve, I’ve thought about it a lot.” She leaned up to peck his lips. “I won’t lie, it’s personal and it’s scary, but I want to trust you with the real me.”

Adrien’s face had flushed bright pink. She heard his breathing quicken. “I. I’m honored, _ma ch_ _èri_. Yes. Okay. So, um. Nine o’clock, my house?”

“Sounds perfect.”

* * *

“Oh my god, Plagg, Marinette wants to sleep with me.”

Plagg lifted the glass lid on a wheel of camembert he’d been aging. Adrien plugged his nose, but the kwami took a deep inhale and sighed dreamily. “I coulda told you that, kid. If I had a wheel of cheese for every time she’s napped on you I’d be the happiest kwami in Europe.”

Adrien glowered at him. He forcefully covered the smelly cheese back up. “You know that’s not what I meant! And you better hide that cheese when she comes over. You may be in love with camembert but it’s not a sexy smell for humans.”

“Well, humans are weird.”

“Help me, Plagg! I don’t know what to do!”

“Sorry Adrien, I don’t do gross human mating rituals.”

“You’ve been alive for what, five millennia? You have to know something from your previous holders.”

Plagg whirled up in Adrien’s face and crossed his tiny arms. “No. Your stupid human mating rituals change too often! My last miraculous owner was two hundred years ago, and lemme tell ya, every single time I come outta that miracle box you all make up a brand new set of endless rules and taboos. Yeah, no, I quit sometime in the fifteenth century. You’re on your own.”

Adrien groaned then face-planted on his bed.

Adrien knew romance. He understood it. He was comfortable with it. He didn’t know how to be sexy. Sighing at himself for being a sheltered dork, he parked himself at his desk and turned to his oldest source for life advice: Google.

_how to make love to a woman_

_tips on making love for the first time_

_how to make a girl feel good during sex_

_how to give a back massage_

_common first time sex mistakes_

_cunnilingus tips_

_what to do with the clitoris_

_best sex toys for women_

_womanizer_

_common sex positions_

_is edible lube safe to eat_

_safe sex_

_how common are latex allergies_

_latex-free condoms_

_how many condoms do I need for one night_

_female erogenous zones_

_setting the mood_

_arousing smells_

_jasmine scented candles_

The desktop went off and Adrien leapt out of his computer chair, which fell over and left him awkwardly sprawled on the floor. He hastily answered the video call.

“Hey, Nino.”

“ _Hey, you okay, man?_ ”

“Yeah, totally, everything’s fine.” He righted his chair and tried to sit back down, but missed. Plagg quietly sniggered at him from his perch on top of the monitor. Nino pointed a finger towards Adrien, though the angle was off because he no doubt was pointing toward his computer screen and not the camera.

“ _That is not fine. That is freaked out._ ”

“I need help. But you cannot tell Alya!”

“ _I’m going to regret this._ ”

“Friday’s my anniversary with Marinette and shewantstohavesexforthefirsttime."

“ _Dude, score!_ ”

“No! Nino, I’ve kissed exactly two girls in my life. Beyond the very, very basics I have no idea what to do! Please, take pity on your best friend who’s still a clueless virgin.” Adrien knew well that Nino and Alya took that step quite a while ago. His best bud wasn’t the kiss and tell type (which is normally a blessing) but right now he was desperate.

“ _Hate to break it to you, but it’s all trial and error. It’s like learning a new instrument, but your girl’s body is the instrument, and you only get good if you practice._ ”

“But you can study the theory first and get a head start on the practice.”

Nino pulled his baseball cap over his face for a second before visibly steeling himself. “ _Okay. Most important thing: take your time. Do NOT rush the foreplay and try to get to the – uh – main event fast. Girl bodies don’t work like that. That reminds me, you can’t have good sex if she’s distracted. You gotta both get really into the foreplay._ ”

Adrien buried his face in his hands. “Oh god, I’m going to mess up.”

“ _Don’t sweat it. Mari’s nuts about you._ ”

Thoughts of Marinette immediately swept over him. The way she’d bite her tongue while drawing or sewing. Her calloused fingertips against his skin when they held hands. How her cheeks turned pink when she laughed. Her midnight hair in its short ponytail at the nape of her neck. The anxiety slipped away and his heart stuttered from an entirely different cause.

“ _Nope, you got that gooey look on your face. I’m out. Good luck, dude._ ” Nino signed off.

* * *

After a midnight akuma that’d had both superheroes cursing Hawk Moth to the icy depths of Hell for waking them up on a school night, Chat Noir caught Ladybug’s wrist before she could swing back home. Her earrings beeped. Three spots left.

“I need to ask a favor,” Chat said. “It’s my turn to patrol on Friday…”

Ladybug tensed. “Yeah?”

“Is there any way you could possibly switch days with me?”

But that was the night of her anniversary! “I already have plans on Friday, kitty.”

“M’lady, I would not ask this of you if it wasn’t the most important thing in the world,” His eyes were huge and earnest. Oh no, he was giving her the cute kitten eyes.

Ladybug chewed her lip. _I suppose I could do an earlier patrol…and I could go straight to Adrien’s house afterward. Mr. Agreste and Nathalie_ are _out of town, so I can go to his window and reveal my identity without arousing suspicion._

“Okay. I can make that work.”

Chat Noir picked her up and spun her around. “Thank you thank you thank you, Ladybug! You have no idea what this means to me!”

She laughed. He put her down. “From the silly look on your face, I think it has something to do with your girlfriend.”

He winked and finger-gunned. “Spot on, LB.”

She snorted. Her miraculous beeped and warned her she only had a minute to get home. “Sweet dreams, Chat!”

* * *

All through Friday at school, Nino refused to look Marinette in the eyes. Alya, on the other hand, kept smirking and winking at her. Adrien seemed nervous but he went all soft every time their eyes met. _Tonight cannot come fast enough_.

* * *

Ladybug’s heart pounded against her sternum. She stood on a rooftop across the street from Agreste mansion, at exactly 8:59pm, taking a steadying breath. Soft light emanated from Adrien’s windows.

This was ridiculous. Adrien was her _boyfriend,_ whom she trusted wholly and implicitly. Tonight they’d celebrate being crazy stupid in love and happy for the past year. She could do this. Ladybug swung to Adrien’s room.

What she found took her breath away. Without thinking, she knocked on the glass.

Adrien’s eyes went huge at the sight of her. He looked gorgeous in black slacks and a fitted blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. A silver chain glinted around his neck, complimenting his favorite signet ring. She hardly realized he’d opened the window until he said her name several times and insisted she come inside out of the cold. Dumbly, she took his outstretched hand and stumbled from the windowsill to the floor.

“Oh my god, Adrien…” her voice was but a breath. He had the lights dimmed. Fairy lights were draped from the second-story balcony. They cast a warm glow over the room with the help of a dozen carefully-placed light purple candles, which she suspected were the source of the gentle scent of flowers permeating the room. Her eyes drifted to the coffee table that sported an iced bottle of champagne, a platter of chocolates, a bouquet of scarlet roses, and two more lit candles.

What caught her off guard, however, that his bed covers were scattered with red and purple rose petals in an undeniable invitation.

Marinette felt enchanted and intoxicated at the sheer, abundant romance surrounding her – but tempered by shock at how _forward_ this was.

That didn’t stop her from picking up a chocolate-covered strawberry and taking a bite.

A strangled cough brought her attention back to her boyfriend. He pointedly stepped between her and his bed. Had she really been drifting in that direction?

“M’la – Ladybug, I’m flattered and all but I kind of need you to leave? See all this is for my girlfriend…not that I wouldn’t do, um – with you but Marinette is the most special girl in the world to me and cheating on her is just out of the question even if it’s like, _you_ and you’re _here_ and staring at my bed and oh god, she’s going to be here any minute _please you have to go – ”_

Okay, admittedly, Marinette’s brain had been moving like molasses. She didn’t understand what Adrien was blabbering about for a solid minute until she finally realized – _she was still transformed._ He still didn’t know she was Ladybug. And it took another minute of wracking her brain to hit her that “sharing something personal” sounded a lot like she’d wanted to sleep with him tonight.

(Not that she was opposed to the idea.)

Ladybug giggled, unbidden. She popped the rest of the strawberry in her mouth, brushed passed Adrien, and strolled to the bed. She opened the pink chest at the foot of the bed. Inside was at least a thousand euros worth of sex toys, some of which she didn’t even recognize.

“You know, my love,” she said, perching on his mattress and playing with a lilac-colored rose petal, “when I said I wanted to show you the real me, this isn’t what I meant. Spots off.”

Tikki sped off to God-knows-where. Meanwhile, Adrien’s expression was priceless. His cheeks burned so pink they looked magenta. Surely he would have caught flies in his mouth if they weren’t indoors. In a heartbeat he pounced on the sex toy chest, snapped it shut, and sat down on it in an attempt to hide his shame. “ _I am so sorry, Marinette._ ”

He buried his face in his hands. She tried (and failed) to stifle a giggle at how cute he was. He may have been an idiot, but she loved her idiot so fucking much.

“Oh god. I should’ve known this wasn’t what you meant. But – I thought you were Multimouse.”

“That too, but it was just a trick to keep my identity safe from Hawk Moth and…Chat…” Marinette felt her eyes go wide. “How? No…”

“Um. Yeah, I’m Chat Noir.” He held out his right hand, showing her his ring. “Surprise?”

In a daze, Marinette scooted closer to him. She reached out to run her fingers through his hair. His breath hitched a little but he let her. She parted his hair down the middle and mussed up his golden locks so his ears were covered. She slipped her palm under his bangs to cover his eyes, trying to recognize her doofus partner in her sweet boyfriend.

“Say this to me: ‘Looks like the cat’s out of the bag.’”

Adrien pouted and crossed his arms. “That joke wasn’t even funny the first time, bugaboo.”

Marinette gasped. _Good god, that’s uncanny._ “You’re my kitty! No wonder you’re such a dork!”

“Shut up.” But he was grinning. He removed her hand from his face and kissed it. Then he pulled them both to their feet. “By the way,” he drawled, twirling her slowly. “You look paw-sitively stunning, m’lady. You’ve outdone yourself with this design.”

She blushed. The dress she wore was made of deep violet satin, with white lace overlay, a gathered skirt, and three-quarter sleeves. She'd left her hair loose but for two elegant ladybug hair clips. Rose gold jewelry and matching shoes finished the look.

“About this whole setup,” Marinette began.

“I swear to God, there’s no pressure. I just misunderstood.”

The candlelight threw soft shadows over his face, making his skin glow. She traced a fingertip along his jawline, over his lower lip, and down his neck. She fingered the pendant of his silver necklace, shaped like the Greek comedy/tragedy masks. She’d given it to him on his birthday in honor of his mother's acting career.

“Oh, I don’t know. You went to all this trouble to set the mood. And honestly, it’s working on me.”

She gave him a soft, light, lingering kiss.

“Really?” he whispered.

“I _am_ curious about the cherry-flavored lube.” Oh, she _loved_ making Adrien blush like that. His face was so red she could probably cook a crepe on his forehead.

He swallowed. “I may have done some research. A lot of research. I didn’t know what you were going to want to do so I got the flavors just in case – uh, apparently dicks can taste kinda weird?”

She dissolved into giggles, face buried in his neck, before she took some deep breaths and collected herself. “God, I love you. I bet you learned so much from this research.” Marinette grazed her teeth against his ear. “Why don’t you teach me how to use some of those toys, _chaton_.”

Adrien pulled her neck in for a searing kiss. His mouth was hot on her lips and his hand was big in her hair. She felt him gently remove the ladybug hair clips.

They’d kissed a thousand times before, but almost never had they gotten this heated. Adrien snaked an arm around her waist to pull her flush against him, so she could feel his body heat separated by only a couple layers of clothing. His other hand slid down her back, and that was her only warning that Adrien would grip her at the waist, pick her up and drop her on the bed. She landed a little hard and their lips broke apart very suddenly. Adrien awkwardly knelt in front of her and slipped off her shoes.

**Author's Note:**

> I WAS going to write a part 2 with the actual smut, but I have not been feeling it, I have other projects, and frankly I kind of like it ending here? Sometimes less is more, you know?


End file.
